help

Help me to be all prayer

and

never

to cease praying

He will swallow up death forever

He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken.

It will be said on that day,
“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”

[Isaiah 25:8-9]

1. Teach me to wait
2. Help me to be glad and rejoice in your salvation
3. My only ultimate hope is all of God through Jesus Christ

Breath

Business school can be overwhelming when I begin to think of all the areas of my life that I have to juggle. But at the heart of it, I think what I'm really wrestling with is trust - trusting fully in God.

Theologically I know I can and ought to trust in a sovereign, omnipotent, omniscient God. Yet my soul wrestles...because I struggle to view God as supreme and as my savior and my rest in every aspect of my life. Somewhere within me I've begun to trust that if I secure that top internship, I will be at peace, that I will be secure, that things are right in the world and that I will have validated myself somehow.

So in seeking that internship / position, I've taken matters into my own hands. I believe that I must do this or I must do that or I must meet him and must go there...or else I will watch my dream fade as a classmate of mine makes it his or her reality. And so my profession aspirations haven't inspired me, they've trapped me...just like they've trapped so many in business school.

Then I read:

"In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind." - Job 12:10

This is a God who is powerful and in control beyond our wildest imaginations. If that verse is true, it must change the way I think about internships and jobs. It must change the way I approach recruiting, studying, networking and all the goodies of business school.

If that verse is true, then the goal of business school is not to network, it is not to get a great job, it is not education, it is not even social change...if that verse is true then the ultimate aim of my being in business school is the worship of God in all that I do.

It means that I worship God in that, when I begin to fear I can be fearless in God, when I begin to grow weak I can be strong in God, when I am overwhelmed I can do all things through Christ, when life becomes dark I stand in the light of Christ, when idols threaten to shackle me I am set free through Christ.

Books on the (my) Desk

by Author:

God
* ESV Thinline
* ESV Study Bible

Puritans
* The Valley of Vision

Timothy Keller
* Counterfeit Gods

Ross, Westerfield, Jaffe
* Corporate Finance

Salvation Army
* Annual Report

8-Mile

It was a trip to hear people talk about 8-Mile. The real 8-Mile Road in Detroit.

Went to Salvation Army of Eastern Michigan Board of Directors meeting last week. It's part of my Board Fellowship (through Ross aka University of Michigan Business School).

I admit - I had a bit of a hard time accepting that I was coming to Ann Arbor (say, versus NYC, LA, Chicago, Bay Area, Boston, etc. Probably better than New Haven though. Oh..and Princeton, not being a real university, has no business school...or med school...or law school...)

Anyway, I believe part of the reason God had me come to Detroit Area was to demonstrate through my (often inadequate) life, that He is God of that City. That despite the dilapidation and deterioration of Detroit, God is the sovereign, compassionate, active, working, saving God of Detroit.

So help me God.

.....

And God help me on this Statistics final in 6 hours. (8am-2am = 6am) Yes.
......

Using the TI-83 again - it's like riding a bicycle, one never forgets...my fingers just know where to go instinctively. (2nd --> ANS baby)

Journal Excerpts 10/12/09

Brief Thoughts on Psalm 72 from today's reading
Yes, I write in non-prose, bullet-point ish sentences
.....

Psalm 72

.v4.“May he defend the cause of the poor of the people, give deliverance to the children of the needy, and crush the oppressor!”

One of the roles of the king, the ruler. Now, for those in power, those with influence. Also, the call of Christians as a church.

Perhaps, this is a defining characteristic of leadership in the eyes of God. What will we be omitting in our life if we omit this command? We lose out somehow by not living sacrificially.

Is this the calling of every Christian in some way? Is this integral to the Gospel? Or is this somehow ‘optional’, or applicable to those with a calling to this specific type of ministry and lifestyle? I suspect those not in the category of the poor / children of the needy must be involved – either directly/indirectly. There can be no spectators.

And there’s more:

.v12-14

12 For he delivers the needy when he calls,

the poor and him who has no helper.

13 He has pity on the weak and the needy,

and saves the lives of the needy.

14 From oppression and violence he redeems their life,

and precious is their blood in his sight.

What does it mean here that “he redeems their life?” Is it a type of rescuing from oppression and violence? So there is some link to redemption and freedom here.Even if we rule in such a way, the ultimate glory belongs to God.

.v19. Blessed be his glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with his glory!

Link between delivering the needy, redeeming the oppressed and God’s name being exalted and the earth being filled with his glory. Pursuing God’s being exalted, that is the aim of God Himself, cannot happen in an isolated, insular environment – it necessitates a global perspective and pursuit.

What to do....

OK. So I must come to admit that I generally don't have anything entertaining or interesting or provoking to say.

So, I'll just write about my experience as a Christian, currently attending The Ross School of Business a the University of Michigan, trying to figure out what I should be doing with this short breath of air we call life.

The Aspiration
I came to business school desiring to find the intersection of these three things (in priority order):

1) Missions to unreached people groups
2) Ministry to the impoverished
3) Act as catalyst at the intersection of (another) three things:
a. Private Enterprises / Business
b. Faith-based non-profits & Churches
c. Government

My Lostness
The tricky thing is there isn't really a clear path towards any of this. It's not like many other professions. I had a much better idea of what to do when I wanted to be a pediatric neurosurgeon. Enough people are pediatric neurosurgeons for one who is curious to be able to learn how to follow in their footsteps. If I wanted to be a pastor I would go to seminary and then interview at different churches for a job. But to do what I want to do will, for better or worse, take a lot more than schooling and passing tests and getting matched to a hospital or accepted into a church. There are some real finance issues I need a grasp of - should I start of going into investment banking for a few years? There are strategic issues - should I go back into strategy consulting for a bit? There are theological issues - should I be taking seminary classes now / soon as well?

Won't Missions Agencies Tell You What to Do?

To be sure, there are some missions organizations taking a really strong look at Business as Missions (BAM), and some have formal divisions dedicated to BAM. However, from what I understand, those are still very much a work in progress. In contrast, missions organizations have pretty thorough and well-documented processes for sending a vocational missionary into a mission field. I think lots of headway is being made in BAM, and getting towards a real understanding of what it is and how it can be used effectively. For now, I think most people have a very vague or narrow notion that revolves around IT, consulting, or setting up coffee shops. And its not micro-finance...even Christian micro-finance.

Where To Go From Here?

Well, first, I'm always a fan of books. There are a couple of books coming out soon:
1) Business As Mission
2) The Missional Entrepreneur

So, hopefully I'll read those.

Second, yes I'll probably attend the Business As Mission Track at Urbana if I can go. I attended the last Urbana. It helped in the sense that I found people that were trying to figure out the stuff I was trying to figure out. Perhaps, like any good conference, I had more questions by the time I left than at the time I came.

Third, I've still got to learn to balance trusting in God and being disciplined and impassioned about pursuing what I currently believe to be my calling. Sometimes I think I can use "trust in God" as an excuse to be a bit lazy. On the flip side, I can get into this mode where I feel that everything rests on my shoulders...when in fact God holds the entire universe in his fingers, and is sovereign over all.