I like...

Art.

Mark Rothko.

The Real Narrow Door

Exclusivity.

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I think there is an American fascination with exclusivity and elitism. We rank, rate, and tier. Country clubs, the Ivy League, and most prestigious X lists.

And I've bought into it. I was disappointed when I didn't get into Stanford Graduate School of Business today - the first time a school rejected me after getting into Peddie, Lawrenceville, and Penn. There has always been an underlying pride issue there, that somehow I'm better, when I'm really not.

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Thankfully, with every rejection to come, more of that pride will be stripped away.

For the next several months, God will be working on my soul to teach me patience, humility and trust, as I await more decisions from various schools. My guess is, God has a lot of work to do on me.

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But there is one place where I know my admission has already been guranteed - and few get in.

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"And someone said to him, "Lord, will those who are saved be few?" And he said to them, "Stive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able." (Luke 13:23-24, ESV)

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While I'm disappointed I didn't get into Stanford, I have something infinitely better to look forward to.

Chariots, Horses and Essays

Where am I putting my trust?

It's 11:20PM right now. I am currently in my work office editing business school essays. I sometimes prefer to work on these essays in my office rather than at home because:

(1) I have internet at the office and not at my studio

(2) I like having my apartment as a place for stuff other than work - reading, writing, ministry, sermon listening and sleeping. (and eating string cheese)

Anyway. This business school application process has been an ongoing struggle to trust fully in God. During this process I've had to do a lot of introspection and self-evaluation. Through these times I've become more aware of my weaknesses as an applicant, whether its in the areas of work experience, academics or otherwise. So, partially in an effort to counterweight these weaknesses I'm trying to write really great essays. Essays have become my hope.

Unfortunately, I'm not an essayist.

Fortunately, God rules over everything, including admissions officers.

In today's ESV Study Bible reading I read Psalm 20:6-8:

"6 Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

8 They collapse and fall,but we rise and stand upright."

So, even as I continue to edit my essays tonight, I am reminded that God hears me and answers me from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand. I will trust in God.